DC - Raven - uncloaked

shadowfell


Your rock 'n roll Joan of Arc

The Queen of Broken Hearts


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Metroid Prime 2 update - uh...w00t.
DC - Raven - uncloaked
shadowfell
Hello again.



Uh...I was at like 60-some percent last night and now I'm up to 84%. Yay. I guess I'm finally figuring out how to play this game.

And I've run out of cool new gear to get. I think I've got everything now. There's still like 7 missile expansions out there, but hey. I'm not doing too bad. I have all but one energy tank. I have all but one or two Power Bomb expansions. I'm still missing another Ammo upgrade. That's what I call progress! I might actually finish this one out at 100% - a first for me! Yay!

So...um...stuff that happened today. Let's see.

Since I had my three keys to the Dark Temple, I reluctantly went to fight the boss. His name is Quadraxis. He's a big fucking robot. I'm glad I had my boss cheat guide, because I needed it for him. You are told at the beginning of the fight to use your Boost and Bombs against him. WTF? He's like 5 stories tall, dammit! What is with this Morph Ball shit?! Why can't I just blow him up with all my OTHER GUNS? But no. You have to either bomb out his feet or boost ball through them at just the right angle so the glowing red lights go away between his...toes? Yeah. Then you have to shoot his glowing blue knee joints (well, there sort of knee joints. Spider-like knee joints.) until he falls over. And then there's something else you're supposed to do, but I forget. You do that about a dozen times. (Not really that much - I'm just bitter.) Until his head comes flying off! Woo hoo! Then you have to use your Echo Visor to locate the antennae thing to shoot that out too. And then you have to do some more stuff...oh yeah. Then you have to blow up the antennaes on his head. After that, you have to shoot him with Super Missiles (yay, we're back in normal vision modes now), the when he's flying around the room kind of drunken-like, launch yourself off of his legs (which conveniently have Spider Ball track on them) onto his head to drop a bomb in the bomb slots cleverly placed on the back of his head.

...

Okay, that's dumb. I had to make Andrew leave the room not long after this because this started all sorts of sexual connotation Metroid jokes. Grr.

When you defeat him, you get this wonderful cutscene of Samus looking all cool and flipping in the air. Then she lands on the ground and in the background this drunken flying robot head crashes upside-down like a dead bug. Quadraxis rivals the Power Bomb Guardian for "Worst Boss Ending EVER".

So...yay? I'm given the Annhilator beam, which opens like all of four doors in the game that I've seen at this point. Woo hoo.

Returning to the only living Luminoth guy on the whole planet (which isn't true, but oh well), you get a new prize. The Light Suit. It's kind of slick in many ways. It's streamlined and looks fucking cool. You can now traverse the big yellow light beams that exist between the temples like a transport/teleport kinda thing. The best part? You now laugh at Dark Aether's atmosphere, because now it can't do anything to you. Including the nasty magenta water. Go for a swim! It's a good time!

After fiddling around for awhile, the game gets annoyed and tells me my next objective. I'm supposed to open the Sky Temple. It requires NINE keys to enter instead of just the normal and less-insane three. U-Mos, the Luminoth critter, says that they're scattered all throughout Dark Aether. Yay, says me. Time for a lot of back-tracking.

So I do. I wander here and there, over a dusty trail...ahem. I collect many more expansion things including Darkburst and Sunburst, which pretty much do what they're called, and the Sonic Boom. Ooh. Sonic Boom. It's a cool gun. Problem? Say bye to your ammo when using it. It takes five missiles and 30 of both light and dark ammo to use. Uh...yeah. Not one I'm going to be using a lot.

I wander back through the Agon Wastes. I wander back through the Torvus Bog. Then I do the dark versions of each. No keys. Not a single key found. ??? At this point I hoping that all the keys aren't hidden in the Hive, because that sucks. I go back to the Sanctuary Fortress because I remember a door I couldn't open.

This is where I get annoyed.

Okay, this door requires the Echo Visor to even figure out how to open it. Done. No sweat. Close to the door are these little pads that inform you to shoot them with a sonic wave in order for them to interact with the door. I only have 200 Ammo at this point, so I'm figuring I get five shots total, since you do use the other guns to open doors a lot. The door tells me to shoot it with a sonic blast and it will then tell me in which order to shoot the sonic pads.

BOOM!

Well, it makes a cool noise and the screen goes kinda wonky. But nothing happens.

I try again.

Ditto.

I try shooting the pads.

Nothing.

I venture back and forth THREE times from Dark Aether to Light Aether, since all the fucking Ammo Stations are in Dark Aether for some reason. I tried creative combinations. Then I tried this really fucking cool idea to line all three pads up in one shot, since the sound travels in straight lines even through walls which sound doesn't.

Still nothing.

I'm staring at the screen at this point, knowing that this door is just an extra goody, nothing to do with continuing the game or finding keys to the Sky Fortress. On a whim, I blast the door with the Annhilator Beam.

The door plays a happy magic song for me. So do the little pads, miraculously enough. In a matter of seconds, the door is open and I have...another Power Bomb. Uh...woot.

...

Okay, Nintendo. First, I would like to point out that Light and Dark does not equal Sound. Because that's what the Annhilator beam is - a combination of your Light and Dark beams. Second of all, if you're going to call the charge version the "Sonic Boom", then maybe you should refer to things other than needing a "Sonic Blast". I know, Boom and Blast are two different words. But how the fuck is someone supposed to immediately know to use the Annhilator Beam instead of its charged version? The answer? Someone's who's playing this thing absolutely linear. I'm sorry. I haven't been able to do that as I keep getting stuck for hours on end.

And I HATE the Sanctuary Fortress. I hate that I had to go back to it. It sucks. It is not fun. No cool spiffy biffy thing you change in it is going to make me like it even a little bit. EVER. Even in Metroid Prime, the Phazon Mines started growing on me since, well, it's fun to kill a lot of Space Pirates, but this place has no redeeming value. It has obnoxious music. It has blinking walls, floors, ceilings so half the time you can't manuever in rooms because you don't know what you're standing on or next to. It has really tough badguys for no apparent reason other than spite. It's full of ass-whopping robots. The standard security systems are more likely to kill you than the monsters. It has Morph Ball puzzles several miles in the air. It has numerous places you just can't get to straight on; you have to jump to Dark Aether and move until you find another portal and then jump back. Did I mention the obnoxious music? And apparently, the remaining Luminoth population is all in suspended animation/stasis/whatever here. Does that seem like a bad idea to anyone else? I mean, the Ing are controlling all the security systems now, so how do the Luminoth expect to survive in the same building if they can't even defend themselves? I am confused.

That's where I'm ending it for the night. Haven't found a single key. Not one. I guess I'm going to have to go back to the Sky Fortress entrance and see what tiny piece of information I've missed, if any. The only place I haven't totally back-tracked through is the Temple Grounds, but I did do most of the Dark Aether version and still nothing.

There you have it, folks. I might beat this game someday.


EDIT: Oh, and that mention yesterday of the "rabid wolverine doors"? Here's the paragraph that came from.

"Also, the key-collecting is kind of tedious. YES! in addition to doors, blast doors, dark beam doors, light beam doors, annihilator beam doors, super missile doors, seeker missile doors, hieroglyph doors, doors that are broken so you have to use the stairs, rabid wolverine doors, and doors that need to be painted black, they have to throw KEY COLLECTING at you because evidently in the world of Aether you can never be too concerned about the security in your dark temple."

And here's a link to the whole review. I think it's hilarious. http://www.gamefaqs.com/console/gamecube/review/R81630.html

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I've gotta tell you... so far you're doing a good job of convincing me to never, ever play Metroid Prime 2. It sounds incredibly tedious and unpleasant in a wall-to-wall fashion.

At this point, the only redeeming value of this game is I'm going to be really awesome at Metroid Prime when I go back and play it again. There's no way I'm beating this one more than once.

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